iPhone Notes

I love lists. 

I also love list poems. 

When I was in second year at UBC, I took this general Creative Writing course you have to take to get into the program in third year. It was a really huge class, but on Fridays we met in smaller tutorial groups, and those groups were divided into even smaller workshop groups. Each person in the group got to submit one time in one genre and have their piece workshopped. 

It was a pretty crappy system, and they don't do it that way anymore. All I really remember about that class is that the TA had badass John Fleuvog boots, and I vowed that one day I would be a Master's student TA at UBC that wore badass John Fleuvog boots (got the degree, was a TA, still don't have the boots). 

Anyway, my one submission for the class was a found poem I wrote by taking one line from every page of my journal from that year (2009). I had a lot going on at the time; I was basically having a nervous breakdown, almost dropped out of school, dated a guy who was, like, 9 years older than me, and on and on. So it made a pretty interesting poem. 

I just remember being struck by how compelling it was to see this huge swath of my life laid out like that. 

A couple years later at the end of my undergrad, a poet came to speak at the Green College coach house. I can't for the life of me remember her name, which is horrible, and not at all a testament to her talent.

She read all these list poems, and they were hilarious. So simple but brilliant. Again, I was struck by the power of the list. 

Recently, I was writing something on the notes app of my iPhone. It's the first/only smartphone I've ever had, so there are notes in there going back to 2012. I remembered that old list poem, and I thought it would be neat to make another out of my iPhone notes. 

I don't know if you can really call it a poem. I mean, I guess you can call anything a poem, if you want to. 

Some of them are utilitarian, like grocery lists. Some are ideas for poems. The funniest ones are the ones where I was clearly having a covert conversation with someone in a public place. Sometimes a very long time went by before I used the app again. 

I've preserved the original spelling/capitalization/format of the notes. None have been omitted. 

I hope you enjoy!

iPhone Notes

December 15, 2012, 10:37 AM

Foucault Day passion quote

December 15, 2012, 3:24 PM

Erin’s Bird Day

  • Nacho things
  • Sangria things
  • Cheesecake
  • Plastic cups

December 16, 2012, 9:53 PM

Total Eclipse

Annie dillard

December 19, 2012, 2:42 PM

Mom

And did you know that you are

everything in the world to me?

Everything that has ever felt the sun

or touched the air.

What has felt the sun and touched

the air is you.

January 4, 2013, 10:50 PM

Iceland parliament elves

January 9, 2013, 6:47 PM

Swimming to Cambodia

Spalding Grey

January 11, 2013, 2:53 AM

Master cleanse monologue. With

some sort of choral aspect.

January 16, 2013, 4:58 PM

A reader’s manifesto

January 19, 2013, 11:42 PM

Labi Siffre

January 23, 2013, 2:19 PM

To do

  • As much writing as possible
  • Car oil change
  • Find necklace!
  • Find keys?
  • Exercise
  • Go to Denman and get veggie things
  • for the Russells
  • Panne Rizzo for Janae

January 26, 2013, 12:05 AM

Hoooooome soon?

January 26, 2013, 2:35 PM

  • Berries
  • Yogurt
  • Pampers
  • Filled pasta
  • Perogies

January 29, 2013, 12:13 AM

Our combined fiction

Play: girl singing along loudly to ipod

Drunk organ player at a small town

hockey game

January 29, 2013, 4:15 PM

Nick Valentine

Tea flower drawings (bergamot,

chamomile) framed. Or inks.

*Editor's note: I never did this

February 5, 2013, 6:41 PM

Play that takes place in the organ

booth of a hockey rink in a small

town.

*Editor's note: I did write this play. 

Play that takes place in a food court.

*Editor's note: I did not write this one.

February 7, 2013, 1:34 PM

The staple singers

February 7, 2013, 5:46 PM

Leviathan documentary

*Editor's note: I still haven't seen this

February 7, 2013, 7:35 PM

  • Honey
  • Green onion
  • Garlic
  • Ginger
  • Kimchi
  • Korean spice
  • Eggs
  • Tofu

February 8, 2013, 12:44 PM

105.7 radio 2 classical

February 11, 2013, 2:59 PM

Back to bed soon? Wink wink, nudge

nudge.

February 12, 2013, 2:07 AM

Upstairs in your room, but you’re not

here, it’s just me and your family.

Clean the snot off your Nasonex and

use it for my own allergy clogged

nostrils. Listen to your parents do

their parents-in-bed talk, and your

little brother with the electric

toothbrush.

February 23, 2013, 2:33 PM

345 west 13th

*Editor's note: The Manor Guest House in Vancouver. 

February 27, 2013, 2:38 PM

Story where you keep finding out that

things are worse and worse. Like

Moe with the lie detector.

February 28, 2013, 11: 34 AM

Then you can tell me goodbye betty

swan

February 28, 2013, 2:03 PM

Mount moriah

March 2, 2013, 3:19 PM

House Stuff

  • 2 glasses
  • 2 mugs
  • 2 plates
  • 2 bowls
  • Stuff to make tea
  • Big fruit bowl
  • Laundry hamper
  • Groceries

March 6, 2013, 11:50 PM

Anonymous Notes

Gender neutral

March 16, 2013, 2:36 PM

110-12020 first ave

*Editor's note: Steveston Tattoo Company

March 29, 2013, 12:22 PM

Socks + underwear for N

Easter stuff

April 8, 2013, 12:08 AM

Devil’s in the Deets

An expression; your favourite, though

It went misused.

Your purple bruised tongue

Dancing naked in the rain

April 9, 2013, 12:39 AM

Kill your rapist

Cycle of poems about Borges’s

imaginary creatures.

April 9, 2013, 1:29 AM

It’s cold in here without you

breathing.

April 9, 2013, 12:07 PM

PIZZA

Yeast

April 10, 2013, 2:46 PM

Jasmine in a blue plastic cup cranes

its many necks toward the sun

Angles its many necks

Tilts its many necks/chins

Wrenches

April 11, 2013, 1:50 PM

Sex and punishment

April 13, 2013, 8:53 PM

MOTHERFUCKING TEA LIST

French Earl Grey: 11.35

Morning dew: 23.25

Soma blend: 11.20

Chai: 8.35

Cola licorice: 6.70

Sikkim Temi: 19.00

Green house blend: 13.55

April 14, 2013, 10:38 PM

Nw field with jack, ex shows up for

no reason whatsoever.

April 14, 2013, 10:39 PM

  • Call Telus-done
  • Email Adam-done
  • Do taxes-done
  • Send in resume-done
  • Oil change-sort of done
  • Buy Lush stuff-done
  • Figure out about fixing car

April 14, 2013, 10:44 PM

Curling Rink

Push yourself cockeyed up the ice

That ice, so strangely layered.

Shuffling cockeyed up the ice,

That ice, so strangely layered.

Sliding all the rocks back when the

game is over, little round cows

herded by a broom.

April 16, 2013, 10:34 AM

Set of poems

From the perspective of a

Steubenville type.

April 18, 2013, 10:04 PM

Gout is crystals in the bone

April 18, 2013, 10:13 PM

Spring is here like going back in time

Crocuses that came and went by

february are just coming up in May.

April 19, 2013, 12:01 AM

I have this ring with your first initial on

it

And sometimes I just have to take it

off for a while

And you don’t say anything because I

have many rings, and sometimes I

wear different ones, and this ring with

your initial was ten dollars and I

bought it myself. So you don’t take

offence. You pretend not to take

offence. But what about a wedding

band? What if sometimes I just want

it off? My father hasn’t worn his in

years. I’ve never seen him wear it. I’m

22 and I have never seen him wear it.

Maybe you could have it, once day.

April 19, 2013, 12:08 AM

I will not be having sex with you tonight

Because I’m tired and I have gut rot.

And I’m mad at you for no reason.

April 21, 2013, 6:23 PM

Harry partch

April 25, 2013, 12:46 AM

Noisettes

April 25, 2013, 1:41 AM

It was more fun earlier. I hate that

guy. He is a raging homophobe. Plus

he’s a raging douche also.

You do not seem happy at all.

Home? You are basically morose.

April 25, 2013, 4:18 PM

Skiggling Ghoulgirls

April 29, 2013, 8:51 PM

Nick johnny cash

April 30, 2013, 12:50 PM

Wildwood

May 4, 2013, 6:08 PM

What is the juice

That comes out of a body

May 4, 2013, 6:15 PM

John Prine I Spite of Ourselves

May 9, 2013, 1:11 PM

Unfurl, you fiddlehead

In the darkened hall

May 21, 2013, 11:28 PM

And later when you were on top of

me

I wished to see a little evil in you

And maybe I did

I watched Room 237

Conspiracy theories

May 23, 2013, 10:46 AM

Pitting cherries

Throwing away the pit seems wrong;

it isthe thibg I have worked to unearth

May 30, 2013, 6:51 AM

Sam Desharnais, I do! Used it last

year, it was awesome!! Buy two

lemons and some fresh rosemary.

Boil two litres of water and pour them

over the cut up lemons and rosemary,

and leave them soaking in the water

overnight (in the fridge).  Then put in

a spray bottle, and spray down the

dogs when they go out. Use it on

humans, too, it cuts down on

Mosquitos, too! Worked like a charm

last year!

May 20, 2013, 10:17 AM

  • Laundry
  • Clean bathroom
  • Finish p

June 10, 2013, 9:59 PM

7up doc

July 4, 2013, 11:58 AM

Mckenzie portage road

Fire road 26 5 milesup

Sun Valley lodge on right

First driveway on right

5432730

August 22, 2013, 6:45 PM

1750 west 13th

*Editor's note: I can't for the life of me remember the significance of this. 

September 4, 2013, 6:45 PM

6043126271

1130

*Editor's note: This was my 23rd birthday. No idea the significance of the number/time. 

September 12, 2013, 10:45 AM

Cake

  • Mascarpone
  • Cocoa
  • Powdered sugar
  • Whipping cream
  • Flour
  • Baking soda
  • Sugar
  • Buttermilk
  • Eggs

September 21, 2013, 10:14 AM

5350 byrne road

*Editor's note: The address of a self-storage place in Burnaby. 

October 1, 2013, 12:59 PM

5th floor blair 230 tomorrow howe

street.

*Editor's note: I think this was a job interview. 

October 5, 2013, 6:42 PM

In which I imagine that I was Glen

Gould’s lover, and I traveled across

the country with him

October 10, 2013, 7:50 PM

A convenient place to dream about

October 16, 2013, 10:16 PM

Poem about brandon and the bird

October 30, 2013, 12:47 AM

A Village After Dark by kazoo ishiguru

Something quite compelling and

creepy about it. Everything is normal

yet not quite right at the same time.

It starts really slowly. Too top heavy

with description.

December 8, 2013, 6:02 PM

  • 1 can tomatoes
  • 1 pack feef
  • Parmesan cheese
  • Romaine lettuce
  • Caesar dressing
  • Loaf french bread
  • Tin foil
  • Apple juice
  • Cookies

December 26, 2013, 4:48 PM

Monty hall problem

March 5, 2014, 1:36 PM

Ju cheng

March 5, 2014, 1:48 PM

Just because you love someone

doesn’t mean they can make you

happy.

Love is not always enough.

March 15, 2014, 2:53 PM

  • Suit
  • Shirt
  • Tie
  • Shoes
  • Treats for e and t

May 5, 2014, 9:40 PM

The mysterious language of children

calling in the distance.

August 4, 2014, 1:53 PM

Harrison

At some point the waves that split the

lake in two behind your father’s boat

will no longer be a rooster tail

This is for remembering that once you

were small enough to fit in my arms

and kiss my face

October 7, 2014, 7:35 PM

Have we ever had a female mayor?

*Editor's note: This note and the one that follows are from a town council meeting. I was recording whether or not I would vote candidates into office. The last three were vying for Mayor. Boring Guy won. 

October 7, 2014, 8:00 PM

[redacted]-no

[redacted]-obv no

[redacted]-yep maybe??

[redacted]-maybs

[redacted]-*barf sound*

[redacted]-maybs

[redacted]-(heart eyes emoji)

[redacted]-(dead face emoji) (skull emoji)

[redacted]-(four sleeping face emoji)

[redacted]-(four thumbs up emoji and a happy cat face)

[redacted]-(peace sign emoji) ? kinda insincere

[redacted]-feminist??? (teeth emoji)

[redacted]-glad he’s not my grandpa (poop emoji)

[redacted]-yaaaa probs

[redacted]-sick tatts (sunglasses emoji) street cred??

[redacted]-(four purple heart emoji) yes girl

 

[redacted]-(four snoozing emoji) apparently thinks

mill is going to reopen?? Dunno i

think i was asleep

[redacted]-clearly thinks highly

of himself. Probably lesser of

three evils.

[redacted]-wish he wasn’t skeezy

cause i actually liked him the best.

October 8, 2014, 8:02 PM

2/3 cup sugar

2 cups cream

2 eggs

1 tsp vanilla

400 degrees til custard is set

October 19, 2014, 1:46 PM

My mother lost too much of herself to

me

October 19, 2014, 2:24 PM

After a long day of being a feminist

March 23, 2015, 11:59 PM

Harbinger

Hobgoblin

Quartet

Gambit

Synecdoche

Lexicon

Befuddled

Soothsay

Pugilist

March 24, 2015, 12:11 AM

2015 Books

Lady Oracle by Margaret Atwood

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar

Wao by Junot Diaz

Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan

 

Spring!

Spring!